I’m one month into parental leave with my first child. My wife and I are trading off leave between our jobs, which means I’ve spent the last several weeks as the full-time, all-day parent. I didn’t expect this season to be easy—but I also didn’t expect it to be this clarifying. Here are a few reflections from month one of parental leave and what full-time parenting has already taught me about time, priorities, and perspective.

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One Month In: A Day in the Life

Before my leave started, I spent an embarrassing amount of time planning a schedule for the next two months. Would I follow it perfectly? Of course not—that would be stressful and guaranteed failure. But planning is how I process change. There’s comfort in having a framework. Not to control every detail, but to know things are generally taken care of.

Feedings, vitamin dosages, naps, wake windows, tummy time, and learning how to soothe a very unhappy baby. I approached this season like a TDY (an army acronym for temporary duty assignments). Because parenting is a duty—one that demands patience, selflessness, and grace.

You only get to be a new parent once. This is a short season, and my daughter will never be in this exact phase again.

I’m still working about 2–3 hours a day—not full parental leave, but intentional. I didn’t want to return to work feeling like I disappeared for two months. Work often happens during naps. When the baby sleeps, it’s go time.

Mornings are for household work—vacuuming, dishes, and laundry (seemingly never ending tasks). Afternoons are for job work. One unexpected benefit has been how much more deliberate I’ve become with time. I spend far less energy on minutiae and perfectionism.

Borrowing from Time Anxiety by Chris Guillebeau, I’ve learned not to mess with “good enough” when good enough truly is sufficient. If something is only marginally better for twice the time investment, it’s probably not worth it. Move on—the baby will be up soon.

I ask myself a simple question: What’s the most effective way to use the next 60 minutes? Maintenance tasks like emails and document filing get a hard cap of about 20 minutes a day right now. If I already know tomorrow’s priority task, I don’t open email or Teams first thing—I go straight to the task to avoid squirrel moments that kill focus.

My daughter essentially time-blocks the day into three-hour chunks between feeds. It’s been great for learning how long things actually take. When frustration creeps in, it’s usually because I tried to cram too much into a single block. The world won’t end because a self-scheduled task didn’t get done today. Setting realistic expectations makes everything smoother.

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Cutting the Noise

One month in, all of life’s unessentials have been chopped down.

Mindless scrolling on my phone and time-sink entertainment? Drastically reduced. This hasn’t felt restrictive—it’s been freeing. Before the baby, I spent a lot of time planning to manage my time better. Now I simply have to.

Personal routines have narrowed to a few high-value activities:

• ~15 minutes of stretching while reading my Bible in the morning

• Three lifting sessions per week focused only on heavy compound movements

• Reading or future planning in the evening once responsibilities are handled

That’s it. Simple. Sustainable.

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Meals, Pauses, and Perspective

Most of my day revolves around feeding, washing bottles, diaper changes, and finding ways to

keep the baby from crying. Feeding has been unexpectedly grounding. She eats every three

hours, five times a day—so I do too. We now have most all our meals together, keeping us both

on track.

Want to know a great way to break a work trance? A baby with clenched fists hungry as all get

out screaming bloody murder. Needless to say, she forces natural pauses—step away, reset, tend

to that homeostasis.

My wife and I have also started planning and cooking meals together for a few days at a time. It

saves time, reduces decision fatigue, and doubles as a simple at-home date night. Small

efficiencies add up fast when time is limited.

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A Quick Reality Check

Everyone’s experience with parental leave will be different. The first few weeks home from the

NICU were hard—primarily because so much learning has to happen as new parents. My wife

and I had to intentionally remember we were teammates, facing opponents of sleep deprivation

and sudden life change, together.

Over time, we learned our daughters signals, reduced the fussiness, and found a rhythm. She’s

sleeping through the night now, which has helped immensely. Even the harder moments have

become opportunities to practice calm under pressure, and she certainly still has days that put us

to the test.

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Work That Respects Life

I’m deeply grateful for the generous parental leave Project Luong provides. It’s more than a

benefit—it’s a clear signal of values. When a company gives people time for the most important

moments in life, it shows that employees aren’t viewed as just workers, but as whole people with

families, responsibilities, and seasons that matter. Having the space to fully show up during this

transition has made me more focused, grounded, and appreciative of the people I get to continue

working with. This kind of support builds loyalty, perspective, and better humans—not just

better output.

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